翻译天堂  2016-10-22

尤金·A·奈达（Eugene A. Nida， 1914年11月11日-2011年8月25日），美国现代著名的语言学家和翻译理论家，组织和指导过几个大型的《圣经》翻译和修订项目，包括二十世纪七十年代出版的《圣经：现代英语译本》（Today's English Version）。奈达有关翻译的著述颇丰，代表作有《翻译科学探索》（Toward a Science of Translating,1964），《翻译理论与实践》（The Theory and Practice of Translation,1969）,《译意》（Translating Meaning,1982）和《语言、文化与翻译》（Language,Culture and Translating,1991）等，其中Translating Meaning 是他1982年在广州外国语学院所作的系列讲座整理而成，而Language,Culture and Translating则包含了他1989年春在上海外国语大学以及同年在莫斯科的莫里斯·多列士语言及翻译学院（Maurice Thorez Institute of Languages and Translating）所作的系列讲座。下文选自Translating Meaning，作者详细地评论了《桃花源记》前半篇的一种英语译文，随后给出了自己的译文。奈达以该例说明翻译过程之一步———“传入”（transfer）———之不易。奈达把翻译过程分为四步：分析（analysis），传入（transfer），重组（restructruring）和验证（testing）。分析是对原文词汇、语法及修辞意义的研究；传入就是从译出语转入译入语，是用译入语思考、转换；重组是在传译的基础上根据译入语的表达习惯以及意向读者的阅读倾向对文字进行加工处理；而验证可采取书面完形填空、口头完形填空、读者高声朗读、读者默读后讲解所读内容等方法，看译文是否做到了动态对等（dynamic equivalence）或功能对等（functional equivalence）。翻译过程虽然分为这四步，但并不是说译者每个词每个句子都要按部就班的分析、传入、重组，很多时候我们有现成的对等词对等语可用。经验丰富的译者往往不需要考虑翻译的方法，一切都是不知不觉地进行的。

朱自清曾把翻译定义为“‘译’是拿外国文翻译成本国文。”参考：国内名家谈翻译（戳我查看）如果译入语就是自己的母语，译者对词语的本意及联想意义、文体色彩、句型和语境的关系的把握，一般说来要比译入语为外语的要好。但为了语言文化的交流，英语虽是外语，我们有时也不揣冒昧跃跃欲试将汉语译成英语。要想做得好一些，我们就得不断提高自己的英语语言文化修养。在下面选段中，奈达以native speaker的身份，评说《桃花源记》之英译，值得英语学习者认真研读体会。

Some of the problems of transfer may be illustrated by the translation into English of two paragraphs in the Chinese story of The Peach Blossom Source:

原文：

桃花源诗并记

陶渊明

晋太元中，武陵人捕鱼为业，缘溪行，忘路之远近。忽逢桃花林，夹岸数百步，中无杂树，芳草鲜美，落英缤纷；渔人甚异之。复前行，欲穷其林。林尽水源，便得一山。山有小口，仿佛若有光；便舍船从口入。初极狭，才通人；复行数十步，豁然开朗。土地平旷，屋舍俨然，有良田、美池、桑竹之属；阡陌交通，鸡犬相闻。其中往来种作，男女衣著，悉如外人；黄发垂髫，并怡然自乐。……

原译：

During the Tai-Yuan period of the Chin Dynasty, a fisherman from Wuling, forgetting how far he had advanced in following a creek, suddenly came to a forest of peach blossoms. For several hundred paces there was no other kind of trees on either bank of the creek. The delightful-smelling grass was beautiful and fresh, and the falling blossoms were scattered in confusion. The fisherman was seized with wonder. He went on further, intending to go through the wood, but where the wood ended at the source of the creek he found a hill with a small opening somewhat lighted.

Then the fisherman left his boat and walked through the mouth of the opening. It was rather narrow at first, barely enough for the passage of one person; but after a few more score steps it widens into an open track. A wide plain was brought into view, dotted with houses in distinct order and full of good fields, beautiful ponds, mulberry, and bamboo. It was checkered with highways and paths between the fields; cock-crow and dog-bark in one village were heard in another. The people plying to and fro and working on the farm were all men and women, dressed like the outsiders. Both the grey-haired people and the children with hanging-hair tresses all appeared happy and well-contented.

奈达的分析

This translation is clear and understandable, but there are a number of semantic, syntactic, and rhetorical features which impair its acceptability and effectiveness. There is even a problem in connection with the phrase "The Peach Blossom Source" in the title. To most English-speaking persons, source suggests the origin, beginning, or agent for some type of production. It would not suggest in this con-text a spring associated with peach blossoms.

The term "advanced" seems somewhat strange in that it normally suggests some kind of opposition (as in a military context). A more natural expression would be "had gone". The phrase "a forest of peach blossoms" seems semotactically unusual. First of all, one would not even speak of a "forest of peach trees," much less a "forest of peach blossoms." The term "forest" suggests a large expanse of trees used for wood or lumber but not for producing fruit.

The phrase "several hundred paces" is a perfectly accurate statement of distance, but it is not congruent with the fact that the fisherman was going by boat. The term "paces" would suggest walking.

The plural "trees" rather than "tree" is simply a syntactic anomaly.

The phrase "scattered in confusion," referring to the falling blossoms, has a connotation of something which is not good or proper. Clearly the text is designed to give an impression of beauty, and therefore it would be far more satisfactory to speak of the fallen blossoms as "blanketing the ground" or "carpeting the ground."

Though it is possible to speak of the fisherman being "seized with wonder," the beauty of the scene would suggest a more positive term than "seized," and so the phrase "filled with wonder" would seem connotatively more fitting. In connection with the same problem of connotative fit, it is important to consider the word "creek," which for many English speakers has a pejorative or perhaps neutral connotation. In view of the pleasant circumstances and beauty of the scene, it would seem far more satisfactory to use a term such as "stream," which is normally quite positive in connotation. A term such as "brook" would probably not be satisfactory since it would imply a volume of water insufficient for a fisherman in a boat.

The final phrase of the first paragraph, namely, "somewhat lighted," introduces an anomalous feature, since it suggests (without marking to the contrary) that the lighting was artificial, but there is nothing in the context to suggest electricity.

The phrase "the mouth of the opening" seems rather unusual in English. The opening has already been identified in the first paragraph, and it would be perfectly appropriate to render the second part of the first sentence of the second paragraph as "walked on in." The use of the term "passage" represents a typical difficulty in using a nominalized verb. Here it does not fit. The term "passage" normally suggests vehicular movement, and so it would be far more satisfactory to translate "barely enough for one person to pass." The phrase "after a few more score steps" is unnatural; English would not normally employ "few more" plus a numerical quantity as attributive to a plural form such as "steps." It would seem far more satisfactory to employ a phrase such as "in less than a hundred steps."

The use of the present tense "widens" is not in keeping with the general past tense character. Finally, the phrase "open track" is misleading. The phrase sounds like something involving railroads, but the meaning is probably simply "a wide path."

The passive expression "was brought into view" seems rather strange in this context since there was no one who caused this to happen. Furthermore, it would be far better stylistically to introduce what was seen by saying, "He saw a wide plain, dotted with houses ..."

A problem of semotaxis is involved in the expression "full of good fields," since this does not fit the context of "a wide plain." One may readily speak of something being "full of something" if the object involved is three-dimensional, but normally this would not be true of a two-dimensional area.

In the case of "mulberry" and "bamboo", it would be more appropriate to say "mulberry trees" "and "a bamboo grove" in order to make this expression parallel with "good fields" and "beautiful ponds."

The verb "checkered" might well be applied to the impression given by the various fields, but it is hardly an adequate description of the highways and paths. Furthermore, the term "checkered" is somewhat negative in connotation. Therefore, it might be better to translate, "it was crisscrossed with highways and paths." The expressions "cock-crow" and "dog-bark" are literal morphological constructs which violate certain principles of word formation in English. In the story itself, however, the fact that one could hear the crowing of cocks and the barking of dogs is designed to be an important positive element symbolizing the neighborliness of the region. But as a translation of this story for the average American, the fact of being able to hear cocks crow and dogs bark would be a negative feature in such a scene.

There is a subtle problem of congruence in the term "plying," since this is normally used in contexts speaking of movements in a boat rather than movement on foot. It may be difficult in this same sentence to understand the reference of "outsiders." Does this mean those outsiders typical of the fisherman from Wuling, or does it really mean that they were dressed in a strange manner as some foreigners might be dressed?

The phrase "hanging-hair tresses" would not be normally understood by English-speaking persons, and perhaps some note would be required to indicate this ancient custom of hair dress. The disturbing element in the expression is the term "hanging." Perhaps a more meaningful expression would simply be "old-fashioned hair tresses." But even with this, some footnote might be used.

The last word "well-contented" violates normal morphological formations in English and is somewhat redundant, since "well" is not necessary to add to "contented." In this context, however, the adjective "content" is stylistically and syntactically appropriate than the participial form.

These comments on some of the translational problems involved in these two paragraphs do not cover all of the difficulties, but they may be sufficient to suggest that in the process of transfer it is far too easy to overlook a number of semantic, syntactic, and rhetorical features. A more satisfactory translation of these two paragraphs might be in the following form:

奈达的译文

“The Story of Peach Blossom Spring"

During the Tai-Yuan period of the Chin Dynasty, a fisherman from Wuling had forgotten how far he had gone in following a stream. Suddenly he came to a large orchard of peach trees in blossom, and for quite a distance there was no other kind of tree on either bank of the stream. The sweet-smelling grass was fresh and beautiful, and the fallen blossoms carpeted the ground.

The fisherman was filled with wonder. He went on, intent on going through the wooded area. But when he had passed on through, he came to the spring that fed the stream, and by it was a hill with a small, dim opening.

The fisherman then left his boat and walked on into the opening. At first it was rather narrow, barely enough for one person to pass. But in less than a hundred steps, the passageway widened. Then he saw a wide plain, dotted with houses, arranged in order. There were good fields, beautiful ponds, mulberry trees, and bamboo groves. The area was crisscrossed with highways and paths between the fields, and from one village to another one could hear the friendly crowing of cocks and the barking of dogs. The people moved to and fro as they worked on the farms. All the men and women were dressed in strange garments, like some foreigners. Both the grey-haired people and the children wore their hair tresses, and everyone appeared happy and content. （Nida, 1982:76-79）